A constant need to barf and lie
So after my lovely week of a bacteria infection my morning sickness has kicked in. And when I say morning sickness I really mean ALL DAY SICKNESS. It’s miserable!!!
Yesterday I had to undergo a three hour car journey with my boss where we had to stop several times for me to ‘pee’ and when i say ‘pee’ I mean throw up. I was mortified, I lied to her face and felt completely embarrassed and uncomfortable. I’m sure she could see right through me. On they way home I had to tell her….. god it felt so good to get it off my chest. I can’t go on throwing up in front of her and lying.
I immediately felt a sense of relief however what if i’ve just jinxed it???
Everyone says keep it on the low down for 12 weeks as miscarriage is so common and I get that, losing a baby at this stage would be heartbreaking, devastating and totally earth shattering. It’s such a taboo subject; no one ever talks about it but it’s printed in everything I’ve read so far about pregnancy.
It’s totally freaking me out and is all I keep thinking about. Is that normal? I don’t want to think this could happen to me but what if it does? I just want to get through these next few weeks. But what if the worry never stops? It’s taking us 9 months to get pregnant and I’m so excited but terrified all at the same time.